Happiness,Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth

A recommended reading is “Happiness, Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth” by Dr. Ed Diener and his son Robert Biswas-Diener.

 

Scientific evidence of the value of genuine happiness is cited, emphasizing that happiness is a process that when filled with positive emotions for right purposes, creates life satisfaction.

 

“Psychological wealth is your true total net worth, and includes your attitudes toward life, social support, spiritual development, material resources, health and the activities in which you engage.”

 

The book offers many words of wisdom to live by, such as “Be happy for the right reasons” and pay attention to the good in others, and the beautiful things that are going right. Thinking that most people are doing their best and people with serious problems deserve compassion is a healthy attitude.

 

The model for a happy approach to life is AIM, Attention, Interpretation and Memory. This means: paying attention to the beauty and goodness around you, while aware of negatives, interpreting events as inspirational and preserving their self-esteem, and active appreciation of the past such as savoring memories.

 

The authors include some tests to measure your own satisfaction with life, emotional well-being and psychological flourishing.

 

This book helps the reader use the practical and scientific studies of psychological value for leading a life of genuine happiness.

One Person’s Kindness Lighted an Airport Terminal

One Person’s Kindness Lighted an Airport Terminal

Imagine all the stress and anxiety to passengers when their plane taxi’s back to the terminal instead of taking off on time. Then they hear the announcement that they must deplane due to mechanical failure and all connecting flights and arrival times will be changed.

Recently this did happen to me. My seat-mate had just introduced herself and we chatted long enough for me to admit I was hard of hearing and my hearing aids were broken. She saw I couldn’t hear the announcement and from that point on she became my guardian angel.

She helped me with my carry-on, guided me to a seat near the ticket counter where new boarding passes were being distributed for the incoming plane. All I had to do was answer to my name and voila I was all set. Then she seated me near her while she sent messages on her laptop and I cell phoned my daughters the new flight numbers and arrival time. I mixed up the times so she straightened that out for me.

Next she brought me the papers to receive the $50 discount on my next Delta flight. Then she helped me to my seat in the new plane and also took charge of my carry-on. She maintained her watch over me while we boarded, and then again after a layover until I was seated on the last leg of our flight.

While this was taking place many of the other passengers were engrossed in watching her kindness toward me. The expressions on their faces varied from mild enjoyment to the radiance of joy. The signs of stress and anxiety were missing and so was ill-temper.

The attention on my benefactor’s kindness lighted the whole terminal area so that waiting passengers and airport employees were lifted by this one person.

It is with gratitude I write this for my readers; to share the wonderful gift we all received that day.

I also see the similarity of this story with the effect you receive with good coaching. A coach listens for your need, hears with empathy to help you, stays with you as you learn, and holds you accountable to grow until your need is met. Everyone around you, in your close and distant circles, is affected and can be uplifted.

Why I Like the VIA

WHY I LIKE THE VIA

 

The VIA is a free test that tells you your personal character strengths and virtues. It is aptly named the Values In Action and identifies the real you, the core of your values.

 

Read the print-out of your 24 strengths ranked, with the top five known as your Signature Strengths, and feel the “aha” glow of the moment.

 

You might recognize a genuine smile lighting up your face. I’m smiling as I recall a test taker glowing while telling me his discovery of the results. His smile was finding his strength of kindness. There is no competition to make an A or 100% on this test; there is pleasure for anyone in the results. This applies to adults as well as children; there is a test for both ages.

 

Why is it good for you to know your character strengths? Look at this research proven list.

People who use their strengths:

• Perform better.
• They are happier.
• They are more confident.
• They have higher energy levels.
• They have more self-esteem.
• They earn more respect from others.
• They are more likely to achieve their goals.
• They experience less stress.
• They have more reverence for life.
• They have more effective engagement in life.
• They experience Positive Emotions, Relationships, Meaning and Accomplishments. This is the PERMA of positive psychology. So can you.

 

When this resonates with you, take the next step.

Go to www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu.

 

You will find many tests there you can take at your leisure. You register and choose your user name and password.

Go to VIA Character Strengths Survey; below it is the VIA Strength Survey for Children.

Complete the test (about 30 minutes) and get your print-out. Keep it available to you. This is a great way to start coaching to increase your experience of all of the above.

 

It is generally unwise to send a reader to a site away from your own as you might not return. In this case, you will receive so much value to add to your coaching relationship and your life, I recommend it. Other tests there can be used later depending on your need and growth.

 

I hope you bookmark my site, keep my e-mail in your address/contacts section and reach me when you are ready to move forward from where you are now to where you want to go.

Rita M. Thompson

lifecoachrita@gmail.com.

www.ritathompsoncoaching.com.

 

Stumbling Blocks

Stumbling Blocks Don’t Have to be Road Blocks

Your dreams, goals, values and resolutions are important to you, but you can become thwarted trying to attain any of them. You may reach a point where you are at a standstill and seem to be going nowhere. You’ve tried all you know to move past the block, but to no avail. You might say to yourself “I’m stuck!”  So what can you do?

One of the best actions you can take to help master these types of blocks is to hire a well-trained professional coach.  The two of you can then form a partnership by working together in a safe environment focused on the agenda you developed for the coaching sessions.

As the title says – stumbling blocks don’t have to be road blocks. All manner of things can happen in your life to throw you off balance – relationships you’ve trusted get broken, work overwhelms you, and a myriad of distressful things occur to you and those you love. Sometimes they are manageable and you resolve them on your own – you stumble a little but are able to pick yourself up and move on. But sometimes the stumbling block becomes a road block that you can’t get around on your own. That’s when you need a professional coach. When you can’t move forward in your usual manner, the focused listening, undivided attention, respect and expertise of your coach will enable you to keep moving toward the goals you have set for yourself.

There is another important ingredient in the coaching relationship that helps form the bridge between coach and client, problem and resolution, agenda and accomplishment. The coach needs to enjoy helping you accomplish your needs and be totally focused on them in each coaching session. The ethics of your coach should reflect those identified by the International Coaching Federation, which you can find on their website: www.internationalcoachingfederation.com.

Until now I have only been referencing the individual coaching relationship. However, blocks can also be resolved in a good group coaching relationship. A coach skilled in both individual and group coaching can offer you the individual attention you need plus the additional support offered by others undergoing experiences similar to yours.

So, if you feel like you are facing a block, I recommend you step back and take a good look at your situation. Realize that we all need a little help once in a while.  Reach out and explore the possibilities that an experienced coach can bring to you. Imagine what your life could be like with a little push in the right direction!  The possibilities are endless!

My name is Rita, and I am a professional coach who can help you find the direction that is right for you. Let me help you navigate around your road blocks and overcome your stumbling blocks. You can contact me at: www.ritathompsoncoaching.com.

Gratitude, A Story, A Question and Five Tips

Gratitude, A Story, A Question and Five Tips

by Rita M. Thompson

Personal and Educational Coach

Gratitude is a strength of the heart, an appreciation of another’s excellence in moral character (Dr. Martin E. P. Seligman), and a positive emotion that opens your heart and carries the urge to give back (Dr. Barbara Fredrickson).

Gratitude is one of my strongest strengths, making me enjoy life more when I use it and increasing my resilience during difficult times.

Here is one of my stories.

My neighbor during my pre-teen years was an elderly woman living alone. One time, I noticed her lawn was unusually overgrown, so I mowed it for her.

Over thirty years later, 3000 miles away, I was raising my two young daughters alone and received a call from her. She was in the area and wanted to treat the three of us to lunch. As we ate and shared experiences and memories of home, I realized what a wonderful gift she was giving my children. My own gratitude surged and I savor that time. It still has the power to elevate me, even as I write.

What’s your story?

What happened to you in 2009, or before, that made you more grateful, helped you appreciate another person, or made you love life more?  Think of that time, how you felt, what reaction it created in you, and what is it’s effect on your life now?

Here are five tips that can help your gratitude practice.

One. You can write yourself a story about a gratitude moment in your life. While you write, savor the time and what it meant to you.

Two. You can keep a diary of gratitude events that happen as you go through life.

Three. You can, on a weekly basis, have a gratitude recall of three blessings, good things that happened to you that week.

Four. You can think of something you can do for someone else, whether you know them or not, and do it graciously, without a sense of duty or expectation of return.

Five. You can take a fresh look around you with an open mind and heart, growing in appreciation for the wonders that are there for you to find, in nature, in other people, and in events that occur.

My January, 2010 free teleconference will be on “Gratitude, What’s Your Story.” You can listen, share, and grow on January 6, 2010 at 8:00 a.m. Pacific, 11:00 a.m. Eastern.

E-mail me at rthompson48@comline.com. for your free teleconference number-only long distance charges may apply.

Send me your story ahead of time if you would like to share it with others on the call.

My next Gratitude Class, “Gratitude In Action” starts January 16, 2010 at 8:00 a.m. Pacific, and ends five sessions later on February 13, 2010. Cost is $125 per person, payable in advance by sending a check to Rita M. Thompson, 3185-D Via Buena Vista, Laguna Woods, Ca 92637. For future class notification, e-mail Rita your intent.

Rita M. Thompson

Personal and Educational Coach

www.coaching4positivechange.com.

What Is Important To You Teleconference

I wish all the best for my readers during the Christmas Holidays and the coming New Year and hope you will give yourself a gift.

Going one step further, I am offering a free teleconference on “What Is Important To You?” on December 28, 2009 at 8:00 a.m. Pacific, 11:00 a.m. Eastern.

If you want to learn how reach to your goals, enjoy the positive emotions and handle the negative ones, this could help you.

Should you feel blocked, unable to move forward, there will be some powerful ways presented toward accomplishment.

It’s best to make up your mind that you matter and so do others and there is help to make that happen with Coach Rita.

E-mail rthompson48@comline.com. with a few lines about what is important to you, and the conference number and info will be sent to you.

Join the conference and see the difference appreciative participation can make for you.

If you can’t attend the conference and want individual and/or group coaching e-mail me your preference at:

rthompson48@comline.com.

We can arrange for a free half/hour conference or coaching times.

Act now while you are motivated.

Teleconference on November 10, 2009

At twelve noon, Pacific time, Coach Rita M. Thompson, President of the Happy Works Club, will host a free teleconference on:

“From I Think I Can, Maybe, to I Did IT!”.

To join the call, e-mail Rita at: rthompson48@comline.com.

 

Ending Announcement

Announcement of My New Website “Coaching 4PositiveChange”.

This is the ending of this website.

I hope you have enjoyed reading and trying some of the coaching articles and suggestions.

Positive change is good and I invite you to follow me as I move forward too.

www.coaching4positive change will be my main website and all my coaching will be part of The Happy Works Club LLC.

Rita M. Thompson

President: Happy Works Club LLC

Top Ten Reccommended Books To Help You Move Forward

Top Ten Recommended Books to Help You Move Forward

One important time before you are ready for change, is when you take an action of preparation toward change.

There are many self-help books on the market. I love best those based on researched studies by author/scientists who have done 10 or more years of research on their topic.

With this in mind, I have written my top ten recommendations at this time, for when you need inspiration, guidelines and learning.

All you need to do to receive my free list, is send me your e-mail, and request it.

I will be happy to send it to you.

Happy reading.

Rita M. Thompson

rita@lifeliftcoach.com.

Thoughts on “Curious”

Some Thoughts on Dr. Todd Kashdon’s “Curious” Book

 

     The strength of curiosity/love of learning is one of the routes to Wisdom and Knowledge, according to Dr. Martin E.P. Seligman and Dr. Chris Peterson, leading Positive Psychologists.

 

     Dr. Kashdon’s book details scientific research he has found that supports his theme, that curiosity is the central ingredient to leading a fulfilling life. To him, “Curiosity is about how we pay attention to what is happening in the present.”  Seligman and Peterson’s definition is “Curiosity involves the active recognition, pursuit, and regulation of one’s experience in response to challenging opportunities.”

 

     Dr. Kashdon writes that with curiosity you can build knowledge, skills, strengths and meaning. Intentionally focusing your most valuable assets of time and energy can change and enhance life’s moments.

 

     Hands on strategies and the science about how they work can help you gain insight. Using the results in daily life can deepen passion and excitement helping to create long-lasting satisfying relationships. Research even shows that becoming a curious explorer can provide relief to problematic anxiety.

 

     The dark side of curiosity is not overlooked.  Those too intense interests some people have in sex, death, etc. run counter to healthy useful contributions to society.

 

     Guidelines are presented for increasing opportunities to create meaning and purpose. He gives scientific support for curiosity as one of the paths to a healthy, satisfying and long-lasting life. Exercises and tools are in the appendix to use to increase curiosity in your life.

 

     I only write on this blog about books I can recommend. My interest in the 24 strengths as routes to the six culturally recognized virtues loves this one for the approach taken toward increasing the use of curiosity in daily life.

 

Rita M. Thompson

www.ritathompsoncoaching.com

“Healing Spaces, The Science of Place and Well-Being” by Esther Sternberg, M.D.

 

I learned of Dr Sternberg’s writing in Supervision Class taught by Anne Durand, Director of Training at my favorite coach training school, Mentor Coach LLC. I read the assigned book “The Balance Within” by the same author and have since reread it. Good books make me want to do that.

 

This one is another thought provoking good read. As a Life and Business Coach with educational and positive psychological interests,  places and spaces intrigue me for their benefits toward a flourishing life. This is filled with the latest neuroscience, medical, and psychological studies and activities that increase balance and healing spaces and places in the mind and body.

 

Beautiful scenes, colors of various wavelengths, different sounds and silence, touch and smell- all have an effect on our moods, emotions and responses to our environment.

 

Place cells are nerve cells that register location in space and pull together the sensory inputs we receive. This is a process necessary for the creation of an integral sense of place, an internal map with harmony integrating landmark images from experiences that form our internal compass.

 

There are also healing thoughts, healing prayers and visions that inspire others, such as the well-known healing place Lourdes, giving hope that a place will heal.

 

The author cites the new field of “evidence-based design” that evaluates the health benefits of architectural features in hospitals. A study found that patients healed faster when their room had a vista window.  Less noise, vista windows, access to nature, green spaces and visiting space decreased stress and increased healing.

 

Building urban spaces like bike trails, parks, and wide sidewalks can have an effect on activity and exercise, both beneficial to healing and staying healthy.

 

I particularly liked the term “walkability” in building design for its value for exercise, social needs, beauty in nature and thus health and healing.

 

It is important to each of us to find our own place of peace and healing for our own physical and mental health. It may be in a garden, hearing music in church, the calming movement in a labyrinth, a breathtaking vista, a favorite viewing place, flowing river water, sounds of a fountain or birds chirping, a familiar prayer and pleasant memory for examples.

 

The inner peace then helps us create beneficial environments for others. That is why I

recommend this book for a good understanding of Healing Spaces and the Science of Well-Being.

 Rita M. Thompson

www.ritathompsoncoaching.com.